As many of you know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This year, in my role as Chief Communications Officer of Trillium Family Services — Oregon’s largest provider of mental and behavioral healthcare for children and families — I have had the pleasure of creating and launching a Mental Health Heroes Awards program, a comedic video campaign designed to lampoon stigma, and a community storytelling and advocacy blog for the organization.
This week I was the guest on Sheila Hamilton’s “Speaking Freely” show on KINK FM in Portland. We chatted about trauma, healing, the triumph of the human spirit, recovery and more. Listen HERE, or press play below.
Recently the producer I worked with on my debut record 13 years ago returned a long-lost box of 4 track tapes that had been found in the basement of the studio where I used to record.
As it turns out, the tapes contained all of my earliest recordings from when I was 16, 17, and 18 years old. This past week as I listened, I couldn’t help but feel proud of my younger self for being so brave with such dangerous truth.
At the time, I had just left the church I grew up in, my relationship with my family and friends was fractured (at best) as a result of my being gay and scary and on drugs, and my heart was broken by first love ending – but I was OUT and FREE and QUEER and BRAVE in ways way back then which are still totally badass now!
For Pride, in honor of all the brave queer youth who are fighting for their survival and voice these days just as I did back then, I’ve released all of the songs on Bandcamp under the title “Pull The Plug”.
Listen free and download HERE (or by clicking the record cover below). You are going to LOVE this one if you are into depressed 15 year old gay boys singing about sex, drugs and Jesus…or if you just enjoy a good, old-fashioned, 90s Portland queer indie music time machine party!
Logan Lynn: “Pull The Plug”
(1998 Logan Lynn Music)
Written, Produced & Recorded by Logan Lynn.
1. Pull The Plug / The Mothership (Prelude)
2. Red Shag
3. The Mothership (Original Version)
4. Gutter Trash
5. Like Clockwork / The Mothership (Reprise)
6. Time On The Ceiling
7. Pills With Smiling Faces (Original Version)
9. On Our Way To Outer Space (Original Version)
10. Aftermath (Acoustic Version)
12. Still Pretending (Original Version)
13. Digging (Original Version)
14. Panic (Original Version)
I was interviewed by the Underneath This Feminist Blog this week. Read our chat on their site HERE or read it below.
“Logan Lynn is a musician who is gay-identified. He has been writing and making music for a decade and a half. His videos have appeared on LOGO and MTV and he has played across the globe. From 2010 until 2012, Logan took a hiatus from music to devote himself professionally to LGBTQ advocacy at the Q Center in Portland. Logan donated sales from his album, “I Killed Tomorrow Yesterday to the Q Center. In 2012, he returned with the single, “Turn Me Out.”
Logan’s latest music video, “Hologram” can be viewed and heard at http://youtu.be/_fa5WgqY6cA (it is really great!). To access Logan’s music videos, please visit: http://www.YouTube.com/LoganGLEE. Please check out http://www.loganlynnmusic.com for more information about Logan.
Underneath This recently interviewed Logan about identity, music, feminism, as well as the media’s coverage of LGBTQ artists.
What was the process of becoming a musician like for you?
It was a pretty natural progression. I was raised in a fucked up Christian cult that didn’t allow instrumental music, so I was trained as an A cappella vocalist from very early on. When I escaped as a teenager, I fell into the downtown Kansas City 90′s party/rave scene and started spinning records. Then, when I moved to Portland in ’96 I met The Dandy Warhols, Elliot Smith, and immersed myself in the Portland music scene. I recorded my first record “GLEE” from 1998-1999 and it was released in 2000. From there, I slowly got my shit together bit by bit until I finally got signed to Caroline/EMI in 2007. I was on the label for 3 years and have only just last month regained the rights to the masters from that time. I’m going to be re-releasing “From Pillar To Post” and “The Last High” sometime this year, but for now they are out of print…and I am officially free once again! I released my new record “Tramp Stamps and Birthmarks” in December myself, and it’s been really nice to not have anyone telling me what to do, how to be, and who I need to be around. My major label experience was Read the rest of this entry »
(Originally Published in Just Out Magazine, February 2013 – Final Print Issue)
In The Trenches: The Pariah Pool
Last year was a time of big sweeping change for me. I lost two pieces of my deepest love to the great beyond, grew closer to another human being than ever before, and let go of another round of “friends” to superficiality. There seemed to be a feeling layer of marginalization spread throughout the year. Even now, in the second month of 2013, it walks beside me, greeting me at every turn. The truth is, that particular feeling and I have been walking hand in hand for as long as I can remember.
Most recently, this marginalized feeling came from some members of the queer community as well as some in the right-wing evangelical Christian community not agreeing with my inter-community dialogue work between the Mars Hill Church and members of Portland’s LGBTQ community (as well as my very public comments and opinions about the vandalism and threats of violence which followed); it came from community “leaders” who didn’t appreciate me stirring up the status quo; from the Read the rest of this entry »
(Originally Published in the November 2012 Issue of Just Out Magazine)
“In the Trenches: The Closet Trip”
My partner and I took a trip to South Dakota this past summer to celebrate my grandfather’s 100th birthday. Before the trip began, we talked about how my extended family on my mother’s side had always been very accepting of me (and my gayness) in theory, but that I had never taken a man “home” and been around all of them while in relationship to test it out. Somewhere in me I knew that everything would be fine with all of them, just as it has been with my immediate family for years, so I didn’t think much more of it.
Almost immediately upon our plane landing in Rapid City, it was clear that we were not in Portland anymore. The woman at the rental car place made some snide comment about how only I could drive the car unless we were “married or domestic partners” which then made her laugh out loud. Imagine – two men married to each other? Ha!
By the time we arrived at the hotel we were exhausted and it was late. We chatted with my parents for a bit and then went to sleep. The next morning we woke up early and traveled to the Badlands, where we spent most of the day. The land was magical and our interaction with people was sparse. We hung out, took photos, and tried not to touch the very cute prairie dogs (which carry plague, come to find out).
We spent the weekend hanging out with all the people who have ever loved me in the world. It was really great for me to get to share them with the man I love, and him with them. My family all celebrated our relationship and welcomed him into the fold without batting an eyelash. It was extraordinary.
Family aside, I could tell some of the hotel staff and patrons were either afraid of my floral bike cap or the anal sex it implied, but Read the rest of this entry »
Originally Published in the September 2012 Issue of Just Out Magazine, on stands now. Click this month’s cover below for the original post.
In The Trenches: “The Party’s Over. Now What?”
It’s no secret that I struggled with an addiction to cocaine and alcohol for many years – Sixteen of them, to be exact. A quick Google search of my name uncovers that though, so this isn’t breaking news. I was always very openly strung out and continued to be open throughout the process of cleaning up, nearly 5 years ago at this point. By the time my active using had come to a close, I had wrecked my life many times over, hurt everyone around me, and squandered professional opportunities the likes of which I will never see again. It has been a long road to put things back to how they are today, and there are still times where that messy person appears, ready as ever to destroy all over again.
It seems you can take the drugs away from the insecure screw-up, but the feelings which led to the drugs in the first place remain. Sometimes they are small and manageable, other times they are too large to hold. Even now, all these years later, not a day goes by where I do not think about giving up. It usually happens when I get my feelings hurt or if I feel overwhelmed by the extreme realness of the universe, which tends to hit me in unexpected waves at the most inopportune times. In these moments I would love nothing more than to ease my aching shame with a drink or hide myself from you, the world, in some kind of thick, white, transformative smoke. There are times where I would literally give everything just to feel nothing.
The trouble with me feeling nothing is that it comes at great cost. I know how that story ends. I lose my work, then my friends and family, then my belongings, then my life. Boom. It’s over. Logan Lynn, dead at 32. No more love, no more music, no more words. I tell myself this story constantly so I Read the rest of this entry »