May 20, 2016 0
There have been several times in my life where I have wanted to not be here anymore. There have also been times when my former addiction or mental health struggles have made their way into the public sphere, which anyone who knows how to use the internet either already knows about or can find for themselves, so I won’t bore you with those details.
I have been open about my own mental and behavioral health for as long as I can remember, both in my music and in the media…mainly because there would have been no possible way for me to hide it; and making songs has always been my therapy – often the only way I am able to get the poison out.
I tried to leave this world the first time when I was 14 years old by throwing open the door of my father’s car while he was driving on the freeway and then trying to jump out of the moving vehicle at full speed. My dad held on to me and my clothing with one hand and everything he had, and somehow managed to both keep me in the car and get us to safety.
I wanted it to be over.
I wanted to leave the world.
And I still sometimes do.
The Church of Christ “therapist” I was sent to because I was depressed and locked in my room had outed me to my parents just moments before. Read the rest of this entry »