Oct 31, 2014 0
I am heartbroken about Jian.
I hate that photos from my stories about him are being used in these awful reports about his hurting people, and as a survivor of sexual violence myself, and a lifelong advocate for the abused, I am embarrassed that I have played a part in bringing this man to your attention over the past couple of years by way of The Huffington Post, Queer Voices, and my own blog and networks.
The truth is, Jian Ghomeshi has been very supportive of me in my career and an outspoken advocate for my community. I have not known him to be anything but a gentle, thoughtful person who I have connected deeply with around human rights issues, music, mental health, identity, and the strangeness of fame. I have looked up to him, but it is clear to me now that my picture of Jian has been incomplete, at best.
The past week has been painful. I have felt sad for Jian, sad for the world, and sad that I seem to have, once again, been drawn in by a man who is not who he seemed to be…but most of all, I am sad for the people Jian has hurt. I know what this means for them, the impact it will have on their lives, how it will affect their families and relationships; and I wish healing and peace for all involved.
I do not believe Jian is connected to the reality of what he has done, but that does not make this any less real. Just because a person doesn’t report abuse to the police, does not mean that abuse did not occur.
It is important that we believe people when they say they have been harmed. This type of violence can be extremely difficult to speak, and even more difficult to live. As of this afternoon, police reports have been filed and an official investigation has begun. This is a good thing.
For those of you who have seen Jian and I together in Portland or in photos, interacting on Twitter, and chatting in interviews, please know that I, and many others, had no clue about this side of him. I do not support or defend what he has done in any way. He needs help and to be held accountable for his actions. Period.
It is hard to lose a hero, and this is all so impossible to believe…but hear me when I say that I DO believe it, and I will not play a part in silencing those who have come forward by blindly standing by him and his attempts to discredit them.
I truly hope Jian gets the help he needs so he doesn’t harm anyone else in the future…and I hope the people he has already hurt will find their way through this public mess without being injured further.
If you have been abused, or are being hurt by someone currently, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am happy to help connect you to resources where you live so that you might find the safety and healing that I have found in my own life. That’s what the message button on the right side of this page is for.
I believe you.