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Logan Lynn’s 8th Studio Album, ADIEU. Out Now!

Logan Lynn - Adieu (Full Cover Art - No Text)

ADIEU.

There have been several times in my life where I have wanted to not be here anymore. There have also been times when my former addiction or mental health struggles have made their way into the public sphere, which anyone who knows how to use the internet either already knows about or can find for themselves, so I won’t bore you with those details.

I have been open about my own mental and behavioral health for as long as I can remember, both in my music and in the media…mainly because there would have been no possible way for me to hide it; and making songs has always been my therapy – often the only way I am able to get the poison out.

I tried to leave this world the first time when I was 14 years old by throwing open the door of my father’s car while he was driving on the freeway and then trying to jump out of the moving vehicle at full speed. My dad held on to me and my clothing with one hand and everything he had, and somehow managed to both keep me in the car and get us to safety.

I wanted it to be over.
I wanted to leave the world.
And I still sometimes do.

The Church of Christ “therapist” I was sent to because I was depressed and locked in my room had outed me to my parents just moments before. Per his instructions (and so my first boyfriend – a 17 year old Junior who had just turned 18 at the time wouldn’t go to jail for having sex with a minor) I was sent to live with a family in Tennessee and go to a Christian high school the following day. Having already been experimenting with drugs and alcohol since the age of 10, I came home from that boarding experience, which ended 6 months later almost as terribly as it had begun, a full-blown alcoholic drug addict.

I’ve talked about the decade and a half that followed many times in the years since getting clean – 8 years ago March 22nd. But my cocaine addiction…my alcohol addiction…my eventual crack addiction…none of that was about getting high. It was about not having to be myself for a minute; not having to live with this traumatized person’s story every second of the day; not having to be broken and unlovable anymore.

I wanted it to be over.
I wanted to leave the world.
And I still sometimes do.

Right before my last record came out, my sweet dog Dutch, who had been my best friend and only real companion for over a decade, was killed suddenly and tragically by someone I should not have trusted. Many of you met this sweet creature while he was alive because he toured with my band and would sit on the side of the stage while we did sound check and performed, or would be in this ridiculous Baby Bjorn thing strapped to my chest. He was with me all throughout my active addiction and was, most of the time, the only thing I cared enough about to get me out of bed in the morning and keep me going.

Dutch’s death broke my heart in ways nothing had before, and right on the tails of that deep loss, the truth of my relationship with the man I had loved for years hit suddenly, as well. Everything I had known to be true was turned on its head again, only this time I was sober and could feel everything. I had just lost my most treasured friend in the world, and I wanted the pain in my chest to stop…but something was different.

I did not actually want life to be over.
I did not actually want to leave the world.
And so I created instead.

I stayed locked in the house for weeks, fighting the urge to use or put myself out of my misery any number of other ways. I gave up on myself and every one of you many times, just as I had before…but this time, with my sober (albeit depressed) brain at the wheel, I had enough wherewithal to document my wild mind’s journey as it healed.

So I began singing through my rage and writing songs in my head that somehow managed to end up as sounds in voice notes on my phone. I couldn’t think of anything else but staying alive. Staying clean. Staying connected to the love I had known so that I could remember how it feels to be part of something that matters. I was crying and singing and trying to find my words again – any words — after having them knocked out of my chest…and I eventually did.

That’s the thing about grief. It changes. And sometimes it opens the door to creating something beautiful.

When the dust (and my mind) finally cleared, I dove headfirst into the 500 or so voice notes I had recorded in my phone over the course of this particular 4 month mental health crisis. After weeks of wading through the hours of often incoherent, tearful screaming sessions and a cappella melodies, I decided to use both. The screaming and crying felt just as valuable as the melodies somehow, so the editor in me pulled the recordings apart and built arrangements. That’s how this record, “Adieu”, began.

Unlike all of my other albums, every single one of these songs was born in my head without any instruments. They all came out almost like spirituals, which I then took to Gino Mari — my longtime collaborator and producer — and we worked in the studio to build them out. He is a supertalent and has been so patient and kind with me through the process of making this thing the past few years. It has been difficult and beautiful and I feel so proud of what we have made out of something so terrible. I hope you like it.

“Adieu” is about saying goodbye to love. It is also, at times, about my not wanting to live…or not knowing how to move through this traumatic experience we all call “living”. It is about overcoming heartache; about resilience in the face of grief and suffering; and about love being stronger than anything else.

I have tried to pay homage to my sweet Pomeranian friend every day since he left the world, and have continued to face my own experience of worthlessness and long-term grief around his loss. I feel like Ian O’Phelan’s cover art for the record, which features Dutch’s likeness, is the grand farewell this small creature deserves.

And so music and love and art and compassion have saved me once again, just as they have every other time over the years when I have gotten it into my head that this world might be better off without me in it.

Being able to be honest about where I am with myself, my band, my friends, my family, and with all of you, saves my life every day. Thank you for being on this journey with me. I know many of you are also climbing that fucking depressing hill your own brain puts in front of you every goddamn morning just like I am.

I am so glad that this life is not over.
I am so glad that you are still in the world.
And I am so glad that I am, too.

xx
Logan

Logan Lynn - Adieu - Front Cover - Artwork by Ian Ophelan

Logan Lynn: “ADIEU.”
Produced by Gino Mari and Logan Lynn.
Recorded and Mixed by Gino Mari at The Country Club Studios, Portland, Oregon
Mastered by Stephan Hawkes at The Breakroom Studios, Portland, Oregon
Album Art by Ian O’Phelan

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Tracklist:
1. I Like It All The Time
2. Go There When You Want To Be Loved
3. Can You Get Me Off?
4. Yes, But Why?
5. I Am Like A Dog Now
6. The One
7. Before The Truth Comes Out
8. The Most Wrong In The Whole World
9. Way Out
10. Break Me Down
11. Wandering The Kingdom
12. We Will Overcome
13. Let’s Go Home
14. Adieu
15. Oh, Lucifer

Category: Arts & Culture, life, Logan Lynn, Love, Mental Health, Music, New Releases, News, Oregon, Portland, Relationships, Release Info, Uncategorized, Unreleased Material

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