(Originally Published in the December 2012 Issue of Just Out Magazine)

I turned thirty-three this past October, and, on the eve of my new year on Earth, some strange magic occurred that has catapulted me into the most exquisite inner awakening I have ever experienced. At the risk of sounding totally certifiable, I have decided to share this journey with all of you. Some of you may relate, others may not, but I feel I may burst if I don’t give it back to the world.

When I was seven years old one of the students at the college my father worked for came to live with us for a year. This was not uncommon in the close-knit Christian education system we were immersed in at the time, and my parents knew this young man well … at least they thought they did. Over the months that followed his moving into our home it would become clear that he was not who he seemed to be, as is so often the case with these types of people.

During the year that this man lived with us Read the rest of this entry »

(Originally Published in the November 2012 Issue of Just Out Magazine)

“In the Trenches: The Closet Trip”

My partner and I took a trip to South Dakota this past summer to celebrate my grandfather’s 100th birthday. Before the trip began, we talked about how my extended family on my mother’s side had always been very accepting of me (and my gayness) in theory, but that I had never taken a man “home” and been around all of them while in relationship to test it out. Somewhere in me I knew that everything would be fine with all of them, just as it has been with my immediate family for years, so I didn’t think much more of it.

Almost immediately upon our plane landing in Rapid City, it was clear that we were not in Portland anymore. The woman at the rental car place made some snide comment about how only I could drive the car unless we were “married or domestic partners” which then made her laugh out loud. Imagine – two men married to each other? Ha!

By the time we arrived at the hotel we were exhausted and it was late. We chatted with my parents for a bit and then went to sleep. The next morning we woke up early and traveled to the Badlands, where we spent most of the day. The land was magical and our interaction with people was sparse. We hung out, took photos, and tried not to touch the very cute prairie dogs (which carry plague, come to find out).

We spent the weekend hanging out with all the people who have ever loved me in the world. It was really great for me to get to share them with the man I love, and him with them. My family all celebrated our relationship and welcomed him into the fold without batting an eyelash. It was extraordinary.

Family aside, I could tell some of the hotel staff and patrons were either afraid of my floral bike cap or the anal sex it implied, but Read the rest of this entry »