LOGAN LYNN

  

Back in the studio this weekend…

…celebrating 13 years of simply not being a monster. 💚❤️

#Gucci

13 years.

20 years ago this month I was homeless in San Francisco, living in a pay-by-the-hour “hotel” in the Tenderloin, trying desperately to convince people I was a normal person instead of a junkie who was starving and scared and just barely hanging on.

Money was expensive back then, but I got myself 3 shirts, a pair of jeans, some sneakers and a Gucci hat, and did my best impression of a human person as I handed out the resumes I had printed at a friend’s house before leaving Portland with a one-way train ticket to the city.

Every move I made back then was an act of desperation, and that desperately fancy hat got me in the door for a job interview at a store that I truly had no business shopping in at the time, much less managing. I got the job and, just like that, I was somebody new.

To this day I am entirely convinced that Gucci cap is what dazzled them into hiring me…or, at least, distracted them into giving me the chance, glassy eyed red flags and all. They would, of course, regret giving me that chance.

I worked hard to turn these fake projections into an actual life for myself while I was still very sick, with some success — but it’s hard to hold onto anything when you have to smoke crack and drink vodka all day just to function.

I built and lost everything many, many times over the course of my 16 year addiction. I was completely disconnected from reality and truth, and I hurt a ton of people as I spun out.

This month marks 13 years since the last time I drank alcohol, used cocaine, crack or heroin, or tried to destroy myself in some other creative way. I am about as far from homeless as a person can get, am surrounded by people and projects I love, and clearly all of my wildest Gucci dreams from way back when have manifested in the years since getting well and becoming myself again.

Honestly, I could never have pictured this life. I seem to have landed that elusive peace I was chasing for so long, and it’s just as I had hoped it would be.

So if you are in the middle of the struggle, giving up on yourself and the idea of a future for your life: DON’T.

Stick around so some strange joy and glamour can find you, too.

#GucciEquilibrium

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